So two guys walk in to get facials…

By now some of you know me as probably the manliest stud ever. Not in an Adonis, stuck up way…but in a “I’m a dude, I shower in five minutes with a bar of soap, and a dab of shampoo…and that’s it, then I’m right back in the dirt.” I don’t need to exfoliate, I don’t need to cleanse, I don’t need to ‘treat’, I don’t need to be pampered. I don’t like to be pampered. If you Google the term ‘manly’, it even mentions me…

I eat red meat, I lift weights, I go off-roading in my Jeep, I help old ladies cross the street, and I serve my country in uniform. So when Gloria, our esteemed Dermalogica account representative came to me with a proposition, I was cautious. She said “I want you to get a facial”. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this and turned it down. But it turns out, this was in a different context. “Do tell…”, said I. She said “Dermalogica has this amazing concept space in Santa Monica, and I really want you to visit it, and learn about skincare. I know that Frends excels in makeup, but the basis of making someone beautiful is skincare. Without good skin, perfect makeup is hard to achieve.” This made good sense to me, so I allowed her to attempt to convince me further.

Over the next few days, she began to show up at Frends more often. As I sat in my desk, from time to time I could feel the burn of her eyes leering at me (bad feng shui, my back is to the door). I’d turn around and she’d do that thing where she’d point to her eyes, then to me which insinuates that she is watching me…

*disclaimer* that’s not an actual picture of Gloria

Now I will try ‘most’ things, once. There are a few things I will not try, but for the most part…I figure “Matt, you are expected to run TOWARDS gunfire…in the grand scheme of things, how bad could this be?” So I caved in and said “FINE!” with one caveat…one other dude here had to go with me and have it done as well.

A week or so later, we found ourselves at the Dermalogica space in Santa Monica, CA. In standard fashion, we arrived late but they didn’t say anything about it to our faces. That was cool.

The space is really, really nice. Really high tech but warm and inviting. The employees of course play a big part in this…making you feel comfortable when you walk in…even when you are the definition of manliness like me. Here are some pictures I snapped on my crappy phone. I am sure if you Google them you can find better ones but I’m too lazy to do that so here:

Ok so now I have to give an overview of the experience there. I told Gloria and everyone else that I would NEVER admit to liking the experience. There are some things that I just cannot bring myself to do. That said, I will answer with both my inner voice, and outer voice. This way, I’m never really externally admitting to anything so you can’t hold it against me. So here we go…

How was the treatment?

Inner Voice: Magnificent. Each product used was very comfortable. The application, of course, was great. It made me forget that I was ‘getting a facial’. It was more like a face massage. At times I felt my eyes rolling back into my head, and felt an endorphin release as the esthetician massaged the products into my face.

Outer Voice: It was aight…whatever.

How does your skin feel?

Inner Voice: Silky smooth, like a newborn’s butt after a warm bath.

Outer Voice: It’s aight, I guess. As soon as my beard grows back in…in the next 15 minutes probably…it’ll be back to normal again.

Would you recommend this to other men?

Inner Voice: Absolutely! There is nothing wrong with pampering yourself every now and then, and the benefits of good skin cannot be overstated. It’s obvious…looking younger and healthier keeps you feeling younger and healthier.

Outer Voice: I mean, if that’s what they’re into and stuff. Whatever. Wanna shotgun some beers?

Would you do it again?

Inner Voice: Sure! I can see the value in doing this maybe every three to six months for men. It just makes sense. Think of it as a physical like you would go to a doctor for, but for your face instead.

Outer Voice: Maybe if I had a really long FTX (field training exercise) that left me in the desert for days or weeks without a shower. At that rate, it’d be the only way to get the dirt out of my face. Hey, let’s go get some more beers and shotgun the shit out of them.

Do you notice a difference?

Inner Voice: See the pictures for the Before and After.

Outer Voice: See the pictures for the Before and After.

So, overall, how would you rate your experience with Dermalogica?

Inner Voice: It was outstanding. The space was beautiful, and inviting. The staff was pleasant and courteous, and the procedure was very calming and relaxing. Upon completion, I felt like a million bucks. My skin was clean and clear, and bright and glowing.

Outer Voice: It was aight…whatever. I have to change the oil on my car, I’ll be back in five minutes, four of which will be spent shotgunning beers.

So…hopefully we’ve provided you with a good overview of our experience…without actually admitting to anything and leaving enough room for plausible deniability should the occasion arise where I have to answer to anyone in my unit about this. And please believe, that day will come.

And don’t forget, you can get all of your Dermalogica skincare favorites at!


2 comments on “So two guys walk in to get facials…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s